Saturday, 18 January 2014


It actually hit me that the only reason as to why we got people paying tuition/school fees/ whatever fees is to actually pass examinations. I implore not to get lied to that you are going to get empowered with knowledge while in school or even at university. Lecturers, tutors and teachers actually care about gallons of nonsense but knowledge. Let me cut to the chase; I am not here to talk about that but examinations.
There was a reason I always looked up to History exams while still in school is because they would come and go, hence the ‘history’ bit. On a more serious note, I actually enjoyed those ‘THE RISE AND FALL’ lessons especially with the curse of empires that had befallen dear mother earth. These things always had the same points, explained in the same way and I swear if you didn’t get a distinction in History, KCCA is short of sweepers. Back to History class, there was this one History class in F2 about the Portuguese having sent missionaries to East Africa that disrupted the local kingdom organization and hierarchy led by two gentlemen by the names of Alex Ferguson and Wenger. This is when I occurred to me that my predecessors were very bright students to put up with such nonsense and manage to produce and copulate fantastic results.
How on this earth, in a country like Uganda, where we have The Anti-Pornography bill, do you write Arsene Wenger and Alex Ferguson as Portuguese missionaries? I thought Wenger was the definition of a man who loses to a specific opponent more regularly than he wins trophies. Anyway, that is a definition I got from one crazy friend of mine called Collins BJ. At that time , though, I thought those must have chimes to keep us awake during those particular boring classes, but the babe that was teaching looked so damn serious that we would be forced to note down the names as pointers for marks. Thanks be to God I got done with that stage.

Nothing in the education life would beat the essence, hopelessness and nuisance of University examinations and tests. Some lecturer gave my class a three weeks head start to read all the available eight handouts only to set a puzzle for a test only covering the first handout.  When this period gets to clock in most universities, no one is happy. The lecturers aren’t happy because marking scripts from scholars of this generation that can narrate the all about Lannister dynasty from “Game Of Thrones” and drool over Ian Sommerhalder is as a joke itself as Wyclef Jean’s bid for Haiti presidency. The students aren’t happy because it is generally our right to be unhappy about anything, unless it is open bars, beach parties or KFC plans. You would think the students are unhappiest about this whole exam but you would be mistaken to believe so. The unhappiest people are the bar owners, bar tenders. Let’s face it, these people get little sad when semesters break off due to that askari called Curfew at home.

If you are still doubtful, go with a questionnaire to Panamera bar or the Casablancas of this world and talk to them about the fullness of bars and the respective fullness periods. Examinations in MUK deprive Casablanca-Acacia of its due time, Panamera, well-no more MUBS birthday parties or open bars, Casa-Mukono like it’s called, no more 8am abortion of that “baala’.
One crazy thing though is, this is the time where the real beautiful girls around campus surface. Leave alone these plastics that pour instead of applying aggregate make up and look like clowns. Wonder where they are when we are attending classes during normal semester, but that is absolutely none of my business.  

 DISCLAIMER: Examinations really deprive me of my party animal friends and kind of interfere with my social calendar. Sorry mummy and daddy but me and my friends are bwats, so worry not about the results. The end justifies the means.