Wednesday, 15 October 2014


  Stupid is the new sexy, atleast going by what I have been exposed to. This title is one that hit me stemming from my season 1 DVD cover of THE BIG BANG THEORY. The tagline it bore read as "Smart is the new sexy." It is both smart and stupid. Penny is dating Leonard and not flirtatious Howie. How stupid is that? That guy always sounds stupid when spelling out engineering formulae. None the less, their relationship has lasted longer than Zari's relationships combined, even longer than Straka's engagement to Sizzaman. That sitcom is stupid and smart though.

   I may lose focus if I decide to talk about Mary Cooper's son, Dr Sheldon Cooper. The bone of contention here is social media. At a point, I sit back and thank God my kind of generation is on the upward curve of tech. The kinds of socia media I am familiar with are Facebook, Twitter, Googe plus and Instagram. To be one of the first lane, your posts and photos must be constant on social media like grammatical sloppiness is to Tamale Mirundi. Yes, it is for keeping up appearances. Live the adjudication to us. Just for just, if you defy that ruling, tradition has it that your relevance will be equal to that of Ssejussa to the NRM. You need our approval so as to fit in with us. If you couldn't just bump and join a malwa drinking clique, why would you hope to slide into our cool circle just like that? Some standards have to be met for you to identify with us. Standards are very key. This kind of mambo-jambo is why were are becoming stupid so as to be branded cool and sexy. I find that very appaling and absurd, but it is so much fun.

   Meanwhile, I dont think I will need my TV anymore. In fact, it is up for sale. I thought I would be able to watch Welbeck picking his Ballon D'Or, or "beauties" taking  the Queen's language for a rough ride in the name of getting a date. It is so irrelevant now. The people I follow on Twitter are the master minds of this plot. I have been relieved of excessive UMEME Yaka bills just by logging in to Twitter. I, will therefore have minute per minute, scratch that, second per second update of any show: even Bobi Wine's attempt of a Reality TV show. I miss the days when we all just waited for a soccer game with Nokia 1200 Kataala and watched without tweeting things like "Welbeck for FIFA World Player" just because he unintentionally made a dummy. It gets worse when "your" team is on the receiving end. Your social circles give up watching and assemble their arsenals in your direction. It is because of such moments that I recall what my P4 teacher of the English language used to say:
     "Yemwe ebyaana ebisilu silu. Come here for a pinching"
Thus graduating your whichever actions to the "stupid" level. Don't get me wrong, it has been assimilated into everyone and it is cool to observe proceedings from one's timeline. It is the in-thing. It also got to me. Please promise you will keep on tweeting about #BeMyDate. Your description of Fabiola always makes me forget that after Sunday, comes Monday. It all feels fine.

    On the positive side though, all I knew about racing was that my namesake has been winning Formula 1 races, Lewis Hamilton, and that there is a track legend called Schumacher. This was before I met my Sunday timeline subscribers. I can now proudly say I have watched all Formula 1 races this season and I know that Mercedes sits atop the table with the quickest drivers. There is also a driver called Bottas. Oh the things you'll learn.  At this juncture, allow me to spell out that the Russian GP wasn't that fun, though it was lightning quick. I doubt you will ask how I know this. I am now empowered with knowledge from Sunday schooling.

   I don't know about you but I am looking forward to more of these classes and commentary of all the above. Don't forget, my TV is up for sale. Since it has a booty, I believe that is incentive enough for me to double the asking price. Everyone loves bootyful. Therefore, everyone will love my TV.